"It's the old story", Wally said to Angel. "You can get Homer out of Saint Cloud's, but you can't get Saint Claud's out of Homer. And the thing about being in love," Wally said to Angel, "is that you can't force anyone. It's natural to want someone you love to do what you want, or what you think would be good for them, but you have to let everything happen to them. You can't interfere with people you love any more than you're supposed to interfere with people you don't even know. And that's hard", he added, "because you often feel like interfering — you want to be the one who makes the plans."
"It's hard to want to protect someone else, and not be able to", Angel pointed out.
"You can't protect people, kiddo", Wally said. "All you can do is love them."

John Irving, The Cider House Rules